Monday, November 21

40,000 words, and an Exerpt!

Downtown Tokyo was not where anyone wanted to be right now.

Due to watching the Giant Robot Zinthar, protector of the Universe, completely level block after block of Tokyo, Godzilla was in the midsts of a gargantuian fit of giggles right now, laughing histerically, or as histerically as a giant mutant lizard could laugh. It’s not that Godzilla was incapable of feeling emotion, no, it could feel quite a few emotions. Happiness, anger, love, yes, even Godzilla knew love. Why once, when he was just a few centuries old he had a wild and passionate affair with Gammera. They spent many a long night devouring villagers on the Pompaii islands, moonlight strolls, hot lava baths, it was one of the fondest memories the great beast ever had. Yes, Godzill knew love, but mostly Godzilla was designed to project anger. So when it tried to laugh it sounded something like a gigantic Lion with a gazell caught in it’s throat. Moreso, it tended to bounce about a lot when it was rolling around on the ground making strange sounds that COULD be construed as either laughing, or coughing, which caused an aweful lot of damage to the remaining standing buildings.

“I think it’s laughing at us!” Said the Red Pilot.

“I think it’s choking.” Said the Yellow Pilot.

“Do you think we should do the Heimlich.” Said the Blue Pilot.

“I think you’re all idiots.” Said the Black Pilot.

“Who asked you?” Shouted the Yellow Pilot.

“I still say we should do the Heimlich.” Said the Blue Pilot.

“What are you CRAZY? IF Godzilla is choking WHY on earth should we try and save him?” Shouted the Black Pilot.

“Well, because it would be dishonerable if Godzilla choked to death. We are here to distroy him…we’ld never hear the end of it if we Godzilla died by chokeing to death, instead of by the hand of our rightious wrath!” Said the Blue Pilot, flailing his arms wildly with each word.

“This is REDICILOUS!” Said the Black Pilot shaking his head andcrossing his arms against his chest. “We are NOT giving Godzilla the Heimlich.”

“I say we vote on it!” Said the Red Pilot.

“This is just stupid.” Said the Black Pilot throwing his hands up.

“All in favor of giving Godzilla the Heimlich, say aye.” Said the Red Pilot.

“Aye” Said the Red, Yellow, and Blue Pilots simultaniously.

“NO!” Said the Black Pilot.

“Well, three to one, you’re out in the cold Takashi” Said the Red Pilot.

“Well so what, I’m the one piloting the Zinthor,” Said the Black Pilot “You’re vote doesn’t matter.”

The Yellow Pilot grew furious. “Look Takashi, either you give Godzilla the Heimlich or I wind up telling your wife about that affair you had with Takoma down in accounting.”

“You knew about that?” Said the Black Pilot, unaware that, now thanks to the national broadcast, so did the entire nation of Japan, including his wife, who was now making plans to leave for her mother’s and take the kids with her. The Black Pilot sat there for a second and then shook his head. “Fine, I just want to go on the record stating that I think this is a terrible idea, and that all three of you are dicks.”

“I can live with that.” Said the Red Pilot.

“Yep, me too.” Said the Yellow Pilot.

“No problem here.” Said the Blue Pilot.

Zinthar made his way up behind Godzilla, who was spasming wildly with laughter. Zinthar grabbed Godzilla from behind, lifted the giant beast up from the ground, and began performing the Heimlich Manover.

This, tended to rather surprise Godzilla, who misinterpred this act of kindness as a rather homoerotic display. Mostly because the gigantic bulls head belt buckle was pressing itself firmly into his backside, like some sort of perverse technophalic codpiece.

“Uh, Nike, what’s going on?” Said Cadriel, who was watching her revive a still onconcious Matthew.

“I don’t know, but I swear if I didn’t know better, I’ld say it’s not intended for family viewing.” Snarked Nike.

“What happened?” Said Matthew as he sluggishly regained conciousness.

“I don’t know, you tell me.” Said Nike as she hunched over him
Matthew moaned as he got to his feet. His legs felt like lead jello, and if he had anything in his stomach it would have easily spilled onto Nike’s black t-shirt. “Ugh, it’s awake.” He said holding his head in his hands. He wiped the bit of blood that trickled from his nose.

Nike helped him stand up, he hung to her left shoulder like a rag doll. Matthew shook his head and blinked. “IS Godzilla being violated by a Giant Robot, or am I halucinating.”

“No, he’s being violated by a Giant Robot.” Said Nike as she helped him towards the others.

“Ah, good…” Said Matthew as he took two wobbly steps foreward towards Gabriel “I was worried that these little trips were beginning to damage my bran.”

“Your what?” Said Nike, giving him a concerned look.

“My brain.” Said Matthew, correcting himself.

“Well at least it hasn’t yet.” Said Nike.


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