Saturday, December 31

All good things...

I'm sitting back, looking at the year in review...trying to keep track of everything that's happened to me...

And 2005, well it's been a wild ride.

2005 is a year of transition. Whereas I know 2006 will be the year of change.

2005 Started with the strip. Really and truely, it did. 2005 was my finding my voice. Anywhere But Here was a self referancial story which was my way of venting the things that irked me in life. Dating in North Dakota, the lack of culture, the feeling that I'm being strangled by a town that just does not understand the things that are important to me.

In all Honesty, Anywhere But Here is my "novel". It's a story with a great ending, a story that will continue on through at least ONE strip, and possibly another past that one.

And it marks a transition in MY life. It means that I was stepping away from something and moving towards something else.

A year in transition...

2005 was the first time in about 4 years that I took a vacation. A real, honest to god, "THIS IS MY TIME, time for JUST ME, to do whatever I WANT, with no responsibilites to answer for." Vacation.

And in all honesty, most of the time I take "vacation" time, it winds up going to something else. It's just time off to focus on another project away from work.

And that adventure...both to NYC and the smaller one's I've taken...they've reminded me of something VERY important.

What I love is seeing things, new things, new places, new people. I love being surprised by beauty, the intricate...soulfull beauty of the world.

I saw Lavurne Minnesota for the first time in my life, and was completly overwhelmed by the perfection of it. I saw Minnetonka Falls for the first time in my life, and was amazed at how beautiful it was. I saw New York City, and was amazed at how much it felt LIKE I BELONGED there.

I saw wonderous things, things that have left me amazed, things that left me breathless.

A year in transition....

I found someone who just makes me smile...uncontrolably, unconditionally. I haven't found someone who does that to me in YEARS. And I STILL do not know what that means. I'm still sorting that out. Because, like all things in life, it's complicated.

But I've remebered who I am, I REMEMBER what I am.

The funny thing about this person is, they've awakened something in me. Something that's been DEAD for about a decade. Something that friends, friends who have known me for YEARS can look at me and realize that the old Jason that they remember growing up with, has come back to them.

And...even though there is NO possibility of anything coming from the relationship. It's...so very NICE to be back. It's SO VERY GOOD to once again be what I should be. It feels GOOD to be back.

A year in transition...


My life in Fargo is coming to a close. My father is dyeing, My grandfather is on his way out...

I'm wrapping up my work with the Non-Profit Organization I founded here. I'm prepairing for a move.

My family, without knowing that I'm moving, have been giving me momentos of home. This year, my mother gave me a scrapbook of my entire extended family. All my aunts, my uncles, my cousins, neices, nephues...grandparents.

My mom gave me a present for my birthday that's letting me take my family with me.

In November, my grandmother gave me an afhgan quilt. Something I can wear around my shoulders while I type. Something to walk around the house with...an heirloom. A reminder that will be with me for quite some time.

This Christmas, my sister gave me a Roger Maris jersey. Roger was a Fargo Boy who did good. Played for the Yankees, earned the Golden Glove, had the home run record for nearly 50 years. Roger is Fargo to me. I've played on the basketball court he played on, he's buried less then 300 feet from my grandparents.

I have a reminder of home....

And my mother, this christmas gave me a cookbook. A family cookbook, with recipies contributed by my aunts and uncles. All the food I've grown up loving. All the food that reminds me of the times I've spent with those people. Family thanksgivings, and Christmasses. Easters, Fathers Days....

I'm taking it all with me.

This year, without ANY of them knowing that I was debating leaving Fargo...they gave me pieces of home that will come with me. They've given me reminders, momentos...they've given me something tangeable to remember them by.

A year in transition...

This year, I met with some VERY good friends of mine. Some very OLD friendships. I was able to say goodbye to some VERY important people in my life.

God, 2005 has been the year of wrapping up loose ends, and laying the foundation for the year of change.

Here's a dirty little secret. I belive in God.

That's right, you can quote me on that. I BELIEVE IN GOD.

I don't belive in the Judeo Christian God, I don't belive in a wrathfull God. I belive that God is the purest expression of human nature. Deeply personal, and yet, willing to let us fall flat on our faces because it's most likely the best thing for us.

And what I belive is that this year, 2005, he's been setting me up for something life changing.

2006 I'm moving, right now it looks like Sacrimento.

Yeah, it's MONTHS away, I'm not leaving untill September-October...but God has been putting an AWEFUL lot of hints on my plate that Sacrimento is where I need to be.

It comes up in conversations, conversations out of the blue...someone will just bring up Sacrimento or San Fransisco. Two weeks I was watching Television and PBS was airing a special on the building of the Bay Area Bridge.

I hadn't watched Television in MONTHS (Honestly, I don't, I play DVD's constantly, but actuall broadcast Television is a rarity for me.)

And the very first thing I saw was a special on the Golden Gate bridge.

The kicker is this. My brother in law's Grandmother...she has a house in Downtown Sacrimento...and she rents out a bungalo above her garage...and she's been looking for someone to take the place of the ex-convict that she's renting to now.

THIS little piece of information came right out of the blue from my sister. I informed her that I was looking at moving out of the region, and that New York, Los Vegas, and California were all possible options.

To which she asked which part of California. I told her probibly around the Sacrimento area...and she informed me that I had an apartment there...if I wanted.

Yeah, weird shit like that happens more and more. EVERY fucking day.

I belive in God. I belive that there are forces that act upon us that we can never understand.

Honestly, I see God as a writer, drawing each and every one of us along a rather wonderfull story...if we'ld just LET ourselves listen, and trust the bastard...it get's easier.

And I'm listening, and I'm trusting.

A year of Transition...

2005 is the year that I remembered who I am, what I am, and why I am...

I do not know what 2006 has in store. Not exactly....

Oh, I have my hopes. Ironically, the very first business day of 2006 I have a meeting with a local "independant" paper who gave me a callback on my strip.

I may be starting off 2006 with an ACTUAL published strip. Anywhere But Here may very well see print.

That may very well be the start of everything right there. The true start of the Year of Change.

A year of Change

Here's to a year of Change, here's to new people, new places, new faces...

Here's to trusting the unseen hand, and letting it move me where I need to be moved to.

Here's to life, and all that it intails.

Happy New Year...here's to all that it may bring.

10 Comments:

At 9:34 PM, Blogger Wistful Dreamer said...

Wow. Looks like you've had quite the year. I hope this new one works out like you plan.

I'm glad you find our humble state of Minnesota to be as beautiful as we do. Sometimes it feels like it's an unrecognized gem (but only those employed in tourism really mind it staying that way). I could have told you just by looking at your artwork, that you and New York would be a good match (California? Well, we'll see now won't we).

"I found someone who just makes me smile...uncontrolably, unconditionally. I haven't found someone who does that to me in YEARS. And I STILL do not know what that means"

I do. It means you've got it, found it, have it. That's what we all really want. We wrap it up in other terms and lie about what's most important, but that's what we want. The rest of it doesn't mean a thing. Complications? That's the price one pays. Nothing coming from it? That's temporal injustice: that it might not be something in the future doesn't change what it is today.

Good luck to you and keep up what you do. Anywhere But Here is a rare comic that, for me, transcends the normal boundaries of the artform, with a story that is personally compelling. I hope it finds a wide audience, and that you get to see it to an appropriate conclusion (hopefully not for some time).

 
At 8:59 PM, Blogger Egarwaen said...

I think I'd like to hear more about your belief in God and such things sometime. They sound fascinating. I especially like this sentiment: "I belive in God. I belive that there are forces that act upon us that we can never understand."

 
At 10:17 PM, Blogger CharlieDecker said...

First things first, I know we're not supposed to harass you about spelling but if you're planning on living there, you've got to spell it right ;) Sacramento. No "i"

And I think Northern Cal and you will do well together. Granted I haven't seen you in 11 years so I may change my mind in a few weeks ...

 
At 11:11 PM, Blogger Anywhere But Here said...

Edgar,

My belief in God is rather complex. I DO NOT belive in the Judeo Christian God, rather I belive in a God...

Well...it's tied into Buddhism, String Theory, Quantum Mechanics, and a Catholic upbringing.

God to me works outside of our understanding of reality. It's...

In string theory, there are at least 11 dimensions of space, and at least 2 dimensions of time.

SO, we don't just move foreward pointilistically, rather we move foreward, backwards, and sideways. Every choice we make is OUR CHOICE, but at the same time, every possible path is planned for.

But, whichever path we chose is of our own accord.

I personally believe that God knows which choice we will take. However, it's purly our choice weither or not we take it.

I also belive in Syncronicty. That there is too much weird shit that happens in our life for reason's completly unexplainable. And that to me, is the subtle nudges by God to let us know what we should be doing.

The subtle reminders of where it is we should be moving to. Some times it's exceptionally subtle. A person passing you on the street reminds you of someone who you should really call. A song plays on the radio that reminds you of something that you should be doing.

Some times it's HUGE...but it's there if you chose to see it.

And I've had syncronicty overdrive running through my life for about 6 months now. Which is making it virtually impossible for me to say "nope, I should just stay here."

 
At 9:38 PM, Blogger Egarwaen said...

My belief in God is rather complex. I DO NOT belive in the Judeo Christian God, rather I belive in a God...

God to me works outside of our understanding of reality. It's...

Well, many people would tell me that I don't believe in the Judeo-Christian God. I disagree with them, and that's their problem, not mine. There does seem to be a lot of overlap in our concepts, though, and I really like some of your ideas. I shall reflect on them, and may steal them.

Out of curiousity, how close are your beliefs (on the subject of evil, say) to The Dude's?

 
At 11:27 PM, Blogger Anywhere But Here said...

In regrads to evil, his beleifs ARE my beliefs.

 
At 5:49 PM, Blogger Something dirty said...

J, that's what you get for talking to your sister: an apartment! When I talk to my siblings I just get a headache.

 
At 6:49 PM, Blogger Anywhere But Here said...

Well, when most women talk to me, they get headaches.


Or at least that's their excuse.

Sigh

Lonely, so lonely.

 
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