Monday, January 30

List of turn downs

Over the course of my life, I have been given an extrodinary number of turn downs upon approaching women with the hopes of actually establishing some sort of contact with them. Here's just a taste of what I've gotten in response.

Ass
Asshole
Ass licking Numbnut
Assyrian God
Abalone Snorting Bubble Head
Autistic Chimp
A Republican
A Liberal
A Catholic-that one hurt
A Heathen
A Spice Girls Fan (shudder)
Baboon
Baloon-I think the girl was really drunk when she called me this
Ballsy
Ball Sack
Balzak
Bastard
Babbabooy
Baby
Baby-EATER
Bitchnugget -a personal favorite of mine I must admit
Bill Collector
Bobbit Canidate
Boy Toy
Braindead Ape
Brainy Fuck
Cad
Creaping DEATH
Creep
Creepy
Charles DeGaul-Never hit on history Majors
Charming
Chick flick lover
Chicken
Chicken Shit
Chilling
Chitlins
Chimp
Chipmunk
Chowderhead
Chuckles
Clark Kent
Cranky Old Bastard
Cro Magnon
Crocodile
Cryogenetic Dick
Derigable
Dick
Dick Tracy
Dimwit
Dirk Diggler
Drunk
Drunkard
Dork
Dumb ass
Dumbo
Earache
Earstwhile Loss of an Emotional Investment-English majors, ya gotta love them
Ed Gien
Emotionaly Dead
Emotional Vampire
English
Evil Fucking Genius
fanboy
fat
fat ass
fat fucker
first rate asshole
Flabby
Flesh Eating Bacteria
French
Fuck nut
Fucker
fucking ass
fucking asshole
fucking cold hearted dick
fucking crazy
fucking bastard
fucking evil
fucking evil genius
fucking fucker
fucking hornball
fucking prude
fucking yankees fan
fucking mets fan
fucking Vikings fan
Gay
Giant Ignoramous
Gigantic Asshole
Gigantor
Geek
Gourd head
Gigli Lover
Gigalo
Hiddeous
Hitler
Hitler's personal sex midget
Horizontally Gifted-I like any woman who makes you think about the insult she just hurled at you.
I don't think so
Icemeizer
Icy Bastard
Icy Cold Madena
Icky Man-not the brightest bulb, I could tell by her first insult.
Ignoramous
Jack off
Jack of All trades
James Dean
Jimmy Dean
Jerk
Jesus, not you again.
John Madden's Nut Cup
Kick to the Head
Kick to the Ovaries
Killed all sexual desire in me
Lame
Let down
Letcher
Leerer-I LEER? Are you KIDDING ME.
Looser
Mambo King
Mary Sunshine
Most boring man she's ever met
Moron
Mooch
Michalangelo
Muscle Head
Narcisist
Niccotine Addict
Nilist
Nancy Boy
Nazi
Ohhhh GOD, it's you again?
Pussy
Quartermaster
Red Faced Idiot
Shit head
Taken
Touretts Spewing Heathen
Unicel Worker
Utter waste of time
Vertically Challenged
Waste of flesh
Waste of perfectily good Genetic Code
Waste of Time
Xenophobe-But I LIKE aliens.
You again?
Zygotic mystake

7 Comments:

At 11:55 AM, Blogger Something dirty said...

vertically challenged? you're not short!

 
At 7:58 PM, Blogger Wistful Dreamer said...

Wow, even assuming you've never heard any of those twice, you still must have asked out/talked up a lot of women.

A fellow liberal Republican? Yeah!!! Have you read Elmer Anderson's "A Man's Reach"?

 
At 3:46 PM, Anonymous salad hayes said...

I must say I envy the passion you inspire in women to go to such lengths to insult you. I just get excuses as they try to sneak away (already have boyfriend, not interested, have a kid, 20 years older, blah blah blah).

I'd much rather have bile than boredom thrown at me.

 
At 4:30 AM, Blogger Anywhere But Here said...

I think much of it stems from my charming personality.

 
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