Thursday, August 25

Screwing with people for fun and profit

So, here's the 411.

I get spam IM's at least once a day. Mostly they come from scammer who appear to belive that lonely men in North Dakota will do anything for attention.

And, ya know what, I've had it.

So today, in a fit of consumer rage, I let them have it.

Unknown Spammer: Hi!
Me: Hello
Unknown Spammer: I saw your profile on Yahoo, You look cute.
(By now I know that this is a spammer, simply because it's the same introduction I've gotten every single fucking time.)
Me: OH, thanks. I don't look that cute anymore.
U.S: I'm sure you do.
Me: No, the chemo took a lot out of me.
U.S.: What is chemo
Me: Chemotherapy, I have cancer.
U.S.: cancer?
(by now it's pretty obvious that they barely understand english, however cancer seems to ring some bells).
Me: Yes, I have cancer.
U.S.: That bad.
Me: I'm fighting it, but very tired.
U.S.: Wat do u do for livng.
Me: I'm unemployed. I spend most of my time at the hospital now getting treatments.
U.S.: That sounds bad. I am a model living in africa right now and could use your help.
Me: I wish I could see Africa. I've always wanted to see Africa, is it nice.
U.S.: It nice
Me: To bad the doctors only are giving me three months to live.
U.S.: You a doctor?
Me: NO, I wish I was, the treatments have drained me dry. If only I had a doctor's salary.
U.S.: That sounds bad.
Me: It hurts alot, I'm very thin, and I don't know how much longer I can afford the drugs.
U.S.: Can you help me leave africa.
Me: Can you help me get to africa? You should know some people there, I just want to see lake victora before I go.
U.S: If you just wire me money.
Me: Oh, I cant do that. My medical bills have left me with nothing. I was thinking maybe you could send me a plane ticket.
U.S: Why woud send plane ticket.
Me: So I can see africa before I die.
U.S.: Why come to Africa.
Me: It sounds nice, I'ld really like to see it before my cancer kills me.
U.S.: That sounds bad
Me: It's not nice. I should really be going, feeling very tired from my treatments, and I have to go back in tonight for more chemo.
U.S.: OK, hope you get better.
Me: I do too, but I doubt it, docs say it's terminal.

Next person that spams me, I'm going to have fucking lepracy...swear to fucking god.


Post a Comment

<< Home