Tuesday, November 1

Chapter 3 The begining at least.

And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and, lo, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became as blood, which, I imagine, will freak a lot of people out considerably.
-The Revelation of John, with a few liberties.

Quite a few people did indeed freak out with the new hole in the center of North America where Wyoming use to sit.
The White House, for one, was feeling rather antsy. Covering up a meteor the size of Texas hurdling towards the earth was one thing. For one, it was quite a ways out into space, and wouldn’t hit for at least another 10 years. Wyoming, on the other hand, was smack dab in the middle of everything. Trying to convince people that nothing was happening in Wyoming was, ironically, going to be quite a challange. Wyoming, they were certain, wouldn’t really be missed. But the looming clouds of ash were certain to be spotted by people on both coasts, and those were the people who could sway an election.
The official White House statement was “Well, this is new, but it’s only one of the flyover states, so it’s really not that big of a deal now is it?”
This put many people on the coasts quite comfortable, because there was a great deal of truth in those words, and it was only Wyoming after all.
The people of the Midwest were a little more shocked by it. But they shrugged it off as they normally do and returned to talks of snow and the latest model of John Deer tractor.
The South, on the other hand, had just gone ape shit crazy, and saw the sign for exactly what it was. Baptist ministers began counting their congregations feverishly trying to figure out who had been swept up in the rapture. Riots broke out when EVERYONE discovered that no one had in fact disappeared from the face of the earth. Well, no one outside of the Yellowstone blast site.
This caused quite a few riots to break out. Which was quickly followed by a great deal of fires, and looting, and raping, and then a very large community picnic, because this was the south after all, and even in a state of total anarchy, some things like southern hospitality and a good mint julep just cannot be denied.
California tended to freak out as well, but only Hollywood, where the Scientologists, who took it as a sign that Xeno had returned, realized that they were all now completely boned. Tom and Katie kissed each other one last time, and then lead a considerable congregation to the top of the Cliffs at Point Reyes National Seashore and jumped off into the ocean.
Nobody much missed them.


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