List of turn downs

Over the course of my life, I have been given an extrodinary number of turn downs upon approaching women with the hopes of actually establishing some sort of contact with them. Here's just a taste of what I've gotten in response.

Ass
Asshole
Ass licking Numbnut
Assyrian God
Abalone Snorting Bubble Head
Autistic Chimp
A Republican
A Liberal
A Catholic-that one hurt
A Heathen
A Spice Girls Fan (shudder)
Baboon
Baloon-I think the girl was really drunk when she called me this
Ballsy
Ball Sack
Balzak
Bastard
Babbabooy
Baby
Baby-EATER
Bitchnugget -a personal favorite of mine I must admit
Bill Collector
Bobbit Canidate
Boy Toy
Braindead Ape
Brainy Fuck
Cad
Creaping DEATH
Creep
Creepy
Charles DeGaul-Never hit on history Majors
Charming
Chick flick lover
Chicken
Chicken Shit
Chilling
Chitlins
Chimp
Chipmunk
Chowderhead
Chuckles
Clark Kent
Cranky Old Bastard
Cro Magnon
Crocodile
Cryogenetic Dick
Derigable
Dick
Dick Tracy
Dimwit
Dirk Diggler
Drunk
Drunkard
Dork
Dumb ass
Dumbo
Earache
Earstwhile Loss of an Emotional Investment-English majors, ya gotta love them
Ed Gien
Emotionaly Dead
Emotional Vampire
English
Evil Fucking Genius
fanboy
fat
fat ass
fat fucker
first rate asshole
Flabby
Flesh Eating Bacteria
French
Fuck nut
Fucker
fucking ass
fucking asshole
fucking cold hearted dick
fucking crazy
fucking bastard
fucking evil
fucking evil genius
fucking fucker
fucking hornball
fucking prude
fucking yankees fan
fucking mets fan
fucking Vikings fan
Gay
Giant Ignoramous
Gigantic Asshole
Gigantor
Geek
Gourd head
Gigli Lover
Gigalo
Hiddeous
Hitler
Hitler's personal sex midget
Horizontally Gifted-I like any woman who makes you think about the insult she just hurled at you.
I don't think so
Icemeizer
Icy Bastard
Icy Cold Madena
Icky Man-not the brightest bulb, I could tell by her first insult.
Ignoramous
Jack off
Jack of All trades
James Dean
Jimmy Dean
Jerk
Jesus, not you again.
John Madden's Nut Cup
Kick to the Head
Kick to the Ovaries
Killed all sexual desire in me
Lame
Let down
Letcher
Leerer-I LEER? Are you KIDDING ME.
Looser
Mambo King
Mary Sunshine
Most boring man she's ever met
Moron
Mooch
Michalangelo
Muscle Head
Narcisist
Niccotine Addict
Nilist
Nancy Boy
Nazi
Ohhhh GOD, it's you again?
Pussy
Quartermaster
Red Faced Idiot
Shit head
Taken
Touretts Spewing Heathen
Unicel Worker
Utter waste of time
Vertically Challenged
Waste of flesh
Waste of perfectily good Genetic Code
Waste of Time
Xenophobe-But I LIKE aliens.
You again?
Zygotic mystake

Jesus FUCKING CHRIST!

http://www.somethingpositive.net/

SHIT

SHIIIIIIIIIT!

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!

...

Learn

Proof that American Idol is Bullshit:

http://www.pistolwimp.com/media/40109/

Sid Vicious would NEVER had made it past the first cut. And this is FUCKING BRILLIANT.

And I think to myself...

What a wonderfull World.

http://hubblesite.org/gallery/

Some days, there's just so much beauty to the world...and then I realized, that the entire universe is full of such promise.

The Rant...

My first rant, enjoy!

Not safe for work, or possibly even human consumption.

Weird Stuff that Happens...

It's odd,

That's all. Just plain odd.

Batgirl

For those of you not aware, there's a batgirl bug running around the web. Artists are drawing batgirl like crazy.

Here are some of my favorites:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/miss_muffinfuck/229301.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/ian_j/63648.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/yaytime/52674.html
http://verabee.com/images/lostinterest.jpg
http://www.livejournal.com/users/verabee/118384.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/dryponder/56513.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/jodycody/16090.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/haikuninja/180106.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/kawaiikiwi/178091.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/destroyerzooey/88238.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/mao/203306.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/conga_chili/104767.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/tiny_monster/33553.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/glitchphil/155124.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/steverolston/22256.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/loverspit/19705.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/gdg/828036.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/uminthecoil/233264.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/goraina/68703.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/demoncrono/61784.html
http://www.livejournal.com/users/k_virago/64398.html

And SOOOO many more here:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/himynameisjamie/345568.html

The First and Ten Project

Some more astute readers may notice a little link to the right.

This year is my last in Fargo. And I've decided that THIS year, I'm sucking the marrow out of the bones of this old gal.

So, I'm going to be cramming as much "life" into living as I can. Which means, I'm heading out to see as many resturants, bars, and shops as I can. Doesn't mean I'm going to spend myself into debt, but it DOES mean that I'll be trying my hand at a lot of things that I haven't before.

Because I want to see all this city has to offer before I never step foot in here again.

The first and ten project is so named because my my "Due Date" for my move.

October 1-06...

or

1-10

So, this is me, sucking the life out of life.

Enjoy.

The First and Ten Project

What the Fuck?

http://news.scotsman.com/scitech.cfm?id=16902006

What the FUCK?

WHAT the FUCK?

WHAT THE FUCK!

Ladies and Gentlemen, the US Air Force is activly looking into hyperspace travel using massive magnetic fields.

WHAT THE FUCK MAN!

Dont you hate when you're right

An actual phone conversation I had yesterday:

ME: Hello
Credit Card Company: Yes, is Jason There.
Me: This is.
CCC: HI, this is ______ I'm just calling to let you know that your payment is past due.
Me: OH?
CCC: Yes, it was due on the 30th.
Me: OH, I'm pretty sure I paid that before Christmas using your online site.
CCC: Well we haven't recieved it yet.
Me: Hold on one second (pull up my e-mail accout) Yeah, I have a recipt here. Notice of payment sent.
CCC: OH?
Me: Yep.
CCC: Well, we haven't recieved it.
Me: ER...OK, I used your online service. According to the e-mail you sent me, payment was sent on the 23rd.
CCC: Well it's not in our records.
Me: Do you have an e-mail address, I can foreward it to you.
CCC: Please hold while I transfer you to my manager.
ME: (Does the curly shuffle for 4 minutes waiting for a manager.)
CCM: Hello my name is M. R_______, How may I help you.
Me: Yes, I was told that you failed to recieve payment on my credit card, however I have an e-mail reciept that payment was sent.
CCM: I see, we haven't recieved payment.
Me: ALLLLLLRIGHT...one second. (Pulls up my online bank account.) Hurm...I don't see any transaction in there either. I think something is wonky in your system.
CCM: I doubt that sir.
Me: Would you like me to foreward you the e-mail that your system sent me?
CCM: NO, that's quite allright.
Me: Allright.
CCM: Would you like to make payment today.
Me: WELL, that would be just fine.
CCM: Please hold while I transfer you to an account representative.
ME: (Does the electric boogaloo to the full, non-edited version of Stairway to Heaven...TWICE before getting an account rep.)
CCAR: Hello, how can I help you.
Me: YEs, Appearantly your online system was not working when I submitted payment. I guess I need to send ya'll some cash.
CCAR: Would you like to do an e-check.
Me: Sure, why not.
CCAR: There will be a $15 service fee.
Me: I'm...what? I'm sorry.
CCAR: Well, you see, for us to do an e-check, we have to charge you a $15.00 service fee.
Me: Wait, I'm getting charged $15? For what?
CCAR: Well, the bank charges us $30 to draft and e-check.
Me: ER...OK...I don't understand.
CCAR: We only charge you half of what the bank charges, so there will be a $15.00 service...
ME: Well buggar that. I'll just pay online.
CCAR: I can wave the fee for first time.
Me: ER...NO...that's fine, I'll just pay online.
CCAR: But I can wave the fee so you won't have to pay the service charge.
Me: ER, NO, that's FINE. I'll just pay online.
CCAR: But it won't cost you anything.
Me: HONESTLY, any place that is telling me a bank charges you $30.00 to do an online transfer...one that I can EASILY do FOR FREE on your website...well, they're not exactly instilling my confidence.
CCAR: YEs sir, but it would...
ME: ER, if it's costing YOU $30 dollars, WHY may I ask would you encourage me to send you a payment that would COST YOU MONEY.
CCAR: Well sir, this way we can guarantee your payment has been sent and.
ME: WAIT WAIT WAIT...are you implying that me paying online is not GUARANTEED to get to you...
CCAR: Well sir we cant...
ME: Well OBVIOUSLY it DOESN'T because I SENT my payment and recieved a RECIEPT THAT it was sent and you still haven't recieved it. THUS I guess your faith in the system CANT be that great if you would RATHER LOSE $30.00 just to make certain you recieve my payment.
CCAR: (Stunned Silence.) Would you like to set up an electronic checking transfer.
Me: NO, you know what...I don't think I'm going to pay online either. I'm rather concerned about your companies ability to effectivly handle online transactions. Rather, to ENSURE that BOTH of us are playing fair here, I'm going to send you a CHECK by CERTIFIED mail. That way YOU know that I know that YOU recieved my payment, and we can all keep each other happy.
CCAR: UH...OK.
ME: HAve a nice day.
CCAR: You too sir.

Things to consider...

hannelore ellicott chatham
maternal cheetah loincloth
chicano health reallotment
nonethical hamlet chlorate
coach enthrallment oilheat
coelacanth Hamilton helter
nonlethal thalamic trochee
loather melancholiac tenth
hellhole Manhattan orectic
rotten melancholiac health
harmonica hellcat telethon
latent rhonchi thalamocele
I am Lord Voldemort

Taking Over the World for Fun and Profit

Todays objective...

Submit ABH to over 60 alternative papers across the US.

Done

Tomorrow's mission:
Submit ABH to the remaining 130.

My hands hurt.

Ouch...

2006...

Is turning into one hell of a year.

Announcement to follow on the main site in a few weeks.